A man walks into an insurance office and asks for a job.
“Sorry, we don’t need anyone…” they replied.
“You can’t afford not to hire me. I can sell anyone anything any time!”

“Well, we have two prospects that no one has been able to sell. If you can sell just one, then you have a job.”
He was gone about two hours and returned and handed them two checks, one for $25,000 and another for $50,000.

“How in the world did you do that?” they asked.
“I told you I’m the world’s best salesman, I can sell anyone anything, any time!”

“Did you get a urine sample?” they asked him.
“What’s that?” he asked.

“Well, if you sell a policy over $20,000 the company requires a urine sample. Now take these two bottles and go back and get urine samples.”
He was gone about 8 hours and the office was about to close, when in he walks in with two five gallon buckets, one in each hand. He sets the buckets down and reaches in his shirt pocket and produces two bottles of urine and sets them on the desk and says, “Here’s Mr. Jones’ and this one is Mrs. Johnson’s.”

“That’s good,” they said, “but what’s in those two buckets?”
“Well, I passed by the school house and they were having a state teachers convention – so I stopped and sold them a group policy!”