A man’s been drinking at the bar all day when he suddenly checks the time.

“1:30 AM?! Oh no, my wife’s gonna kill me!”

He tries to stand up… BAM! Falls straight to the floor.

“Okay, okay… I just need to sober up.”

He orders a coffee, drinks it, waits 30 minutes, then tries again. THUD! Falls even harder.

At this point, he knows standing isn’t an option—but he’s gotta get home somehow. So he does the only thing he can… he starts crawling!

After 40 minutes of crawling like a lost turtle, he finally makes it home, sneaks into bed next to his (thankfully sleeping) wife, and passes out cold.

The next morning, his wife wakes him up with that look.

“So… how was last night? Did you have fun drinking all day?”

Thinking she has no idea, he plays it cool:
“Me? Nah, just a couple beers with coworkers.”

She nods. “Ohhh, okay.”

Then, as she’s walking away, she stops, turns back, and smirks:

“By the way… the bar owner called. Your wheelchair’s still there, genius.”