Why do we have to “put in our two cents”… but only get “a penny for our thoughts”?
Who’s pocketing that extra penny?

If you make it to heaven, are you stuck wearing the outfit you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box? Efficiency? Or just to mess with us?

What exactly was wrong with ham before they cured it?

How did we put a man on the moon before we figured out putting wheels on luggage was a good idea?

Why do people say they “slept like a baby” when babies wake up crying every two hours?

If a deaf person goes to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we pay to go up skyscrapers, only to use binoculars to look back down at the ground?

Doctors leave the room while you change… but then come back to see you naked anyway. What’s the point?

Why do toasters have a setting that burns toast beyond recognition? Who is eating that?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why does he have a whole song?

Can a hearse carrying a corpse use the carpool lane? Asking for a friend.

The professor on *Gilligan’s Island* made a radio out of a coconut—so why couldn’t he patch up a hole in a boat?

Goofy walks on two legs, Pluto walks on four. They’re both dogs. What gives?

If Wile E. Coyote had all that money for ACME gadgets, why didn’t he just buy dinner?

If corn oil comes from corn and vegetable oil comes from vegetables, should we be worried about baby oil?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons? (Seems likely.)

Why do *Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star* and the Alphabet Song have the same tune?

And why did you just sing both in your head to check?

Why is it called an *asteroid* when it’s in space, but a *hemorrhoid* when it’s in your butt?

Why does a dog hate when you blow in his face, but loves sticking his head out the car window?

The world may never know.