A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday…

She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results.

On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, “I hope you don’t mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?”

“About 35,”he replied.

“I’m actually 47,” the woman said, feeling really happy.

After that she went into McDonald’s for lunch and asked the order taker the same question. He replied, “Oh, you look about 29.”

“I am actually 47!” she said, feeling really good.

While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.

He replied, “I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman’s age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age.”

There was no one around, so the woman said, “What the hell?” and let him slip his hand up her skirt.

After feeling around for a while, the old man said, “OK, You are 47.”

Related Posts

For your carelessness, I curse you!

Toward the far end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to slice his ball straight into the woods, where he found it nestled in a patch…

If my mom was…

A little boy hopped onto a public bus and plopped down in the seat right behind the driver. As the bus pulled away, the boy started chatting…

My job’s demanding. I’ll land when I land—no questions

A commercial airline pilot finally ties the knot with his longtime girlfriend—a sharp, no-nonsense air traffic controller known for keeping cool under pressure. On their honeymoon, he…

How can you measure the height of a building using a barometer?

Once upon a time, a university professor faced a strange dilemma. A physics student had answered a test question in a way that was technically correct —…

That’s my seat. I specifically booked it!

Tom Reynolds boarded his flight to Chicago and made his way to the aisle seat he had reserved. To his surprise, a blonde woman was already sitting…

Three blondes are in an elevator

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *