John hoisted his beer

John hoisted his beer and said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life,
between the legs of my wife!”

That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night! He went home and told his wife,

Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.”

She said, “What was your toast?’

John said: “Here’s to spending the rest of my life, sitting in church beside my wife.”

“Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!” Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John’s drinking buddies on the street corner.

The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary.”

She said, “He told me, and I was a bit surprised myself.

You know, he’s only been there twice in the last four years.

Once he fell asleep, and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”

Related Posts

For your carelessness, I curse you!

Toward the far end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to slice his ball straight into the woods, where he found it nestled in a patch…

If my mom was…

A little boy hopped onto a public bus and plopped down in the seat right behind the driver. As the bus pulled away, the boy started chatting…

My job’s demanding. I’ll land when I land—no questions

A commercial airline pilot finally ties the knot with his longtime girlfriend—a sharp, no-nonsense air traffic controller known for keeping cool under pressure. On their honeymoon, he…

How can you measure the height of a building using a barometer?

Once upon a time, a university professor faced a strange dilemma. A physics student had answered a test question in a way that was technically correct —…

That’s my seat. I specifically booked it!

Tom Reynolds boarded his flight to Chicago and made his way to the aisle seat he had reserved. To his surprise, a blonde woman was already sitting…

Three blondes are in an elevator

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *