The Wildest Excuse Ever

A man’s wife asks him to go to the store to buy some cigarettes, so he walks down to the store only to find it closed.

So he goes into a nearby bar to use the vending machine. At the bar he sees a beautiful woman and starts talking to her.

They have a couple of beers and one thing leads to another and they end up in her apartment.

After they’ve had their fun, he realizes its 3 a.m. and says, “Oh no, it’s so late, my wife’s going to kill me.” He takes his shoes outside and rubs them in the grass and mud, then proceeds home.

His wife is waiting for him in the doorway and she is pretty pissed off. “Where the hell have you been?!?!”

“Well, honey, it’s like this. I went to the store like you asked, but they were closed. So I went to the bar to use the vending machine.

I saw this great-looking chick there and we had a few drinks and one thing led to another and I ended up in bed with her.”

She sees his shoes are covered with grass and says,

“You lying bastard!!! You’ve been fishing again!!!”

Related Posts

For your carelessness, I curse you!

Toward the far end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to slice his ball straight into the woods, where he found it nestled in a patch…

If my mom was…

A little boy hopped onto a public bus and plopped down in the seat right behind the driver. As the bus pulled away, the boy started chatting…

My job’s demanding. I’ll land when I land—no questions

A commercial airline pilot finally ties the knot with his longtime girlfriend—a sharp, no-nonsense air traffic controller known for keeping cool under pressure. On their honeymoon, he…

How can you measure the height of a building using a barometer?

Once upon a time, a university professor faced a strange dilemma. A physics student had answered a test question in a way that was technically correct —…

That’s my seat. I specifically booked it!

Tom Reynolds boarded his flight to Chicago and made his way to the aisle seat he had reserved. To his surprise, a blonde woman was already sitting…

Three blondes are in an elevator

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *