Johnny,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He takes a shit, sir,” says Johnny.

“Oh,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a bricklayer,” says Johnny.

The teacher thinks, hmm, working class, what else can you expect?

“Bobby,” says the teacher, “what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He takes a shit, sir,” says Bobby.

“Hmm,” says the teacher, “and what does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a joiner,” says Johnny.

The teacher sees this as confirming his suspicions about the lack of linguistic skills among working class children.

“Freddy,” he says. “What does your father do for a living?”

“He’s a lawyer, sir” says Freddy.

“And what’s the first thing your father does in the morning?”

“He reads The Times, sir,” says Freddy.

“Interesting,” says the teacher, “and how much time does he spend reading the paper?”

“Not long,” says Freddy, “just until he’s finished taking a shit.”